You Are

Who are you? The you of your dreams? Or the sum of all...

fears?

You Are

Being challenged means...

Well, what does it mean?

I.

Maybe... 'being challenged' is a bell, clanging to commence a boxing round. Such bell 'primes' us to (a) be on our guard and (b) be on the attack, doesn't it?

Such bell never invites us to seek a solution beyond the ropes and the rules of 'the game'. In other words, such bell never calls us to walk away or to rewrite the rules, to win.

II.

Maybe... 'being challenged' is a goal that demands our time and attention and energy. Such goal 'knows' in its bones: (a) the destination matters and (b) so does the journey.

There's no backing down from or giving up on a goal worth setting or a goal worth fighting for. Never mind the opportunity costs. 

Speaking of our loved ones, our helpmeets, cheer squads, and luggage, there for us.

III.

Maybe... 'being challenged' is: an opportunity; an inspiration; an ambition. No one ever 'makes it' without being:

blind-sided by an opportunity to embrace the left field; pushed by an inspiration to slay an aesthetic; tested by an ambition to mine a 'growth mindset'.

Because an event or a wave or an era is not to be experienced like a passenger on an accelerating runaway train. Life is to be owned.

IV.

Maybe... 'being challenged' is an intractable, raw deal. Whether an albatross of molecular errors or an absence of 'meaning' explains everything or nothing:

Suffering to survive is neither a 'test' nor a 'purpose'. An incomplete or compromised respiratory system, 'functioning' by mechanical and artificial 'lungs', is not an 'untraveled road', courageous in the telling afterwards. A heart living to die is not a handiwork of needlepoint; it is an organ from its first electrical stimulus to its last.

V.

With every challenge that challenges, there's a flippancy, a carelessness that glosses over every granular rubber tire meeting every treacherous road, a positivity that paints every grey cloud, never mind blue sky. 

Challenging a religion, a belief system, a canon, a position of an ecumenical body, is impious and heretical. Censure and exclusion, both in full and in kind, is real and painful. Challenging an institution, a system, an organization, a body is disloyal and disobedient. Denial and refusal, both in full and in kind, is tangible and material.

VI.

I mean... who is not 'being challenged' with raw deals and 'opportunities' and 'goals' and bells, clanging to commence a battle for the ages? But every success and every failure is not 'birthed' with an inalienably possessed intention to incite... rose-colored lenses and words-to-live-by.

In other words... insulated by tinted perspectives and affirmed fabulations, we can live as the sum of all fears. Or we can live as the people of our dreams, hopeful and unafraid because the possible is still...

possible.

Annotation

Do you ever feel like proofing dough, you rise and then... you're sucker punched? Because what makes you - 'desirable' - that is, what makes you - 'to spec' - isn't you, yourself, as you are - but you 'formed' by a hand that is not your own?

As if I, myself, as I am, must be punched down to size; as if I, formed by a hand that is my own, cannot rise as I will it.

Yet... I dream still of all that is possible, of all that may still be. Because if I can live as proofing dough or as the me of my dreams... I choose me.

*

(i) There's a dishonesty to our language and our use of language across our public spaces about what 'being challenged means'. I, II, III are 'versions' of this language and this use of language, hyperbolized for contrast and effect. Notwithstanding, while also directly speaking to actually 'being challenged' (for example, IV).

(ii) Single quotes around words like 'primes' (I), 'knows' (II), 'makes it' (III), etc., are (a) to separate such language from my language; (b) to distinguish distinct use and meaning (for example, above (i)); (b) to reference specific use and meaning (for example, 'untraveled road' (IV)); (c) to quote myself (for example, below (iii)); etc. Note however, this convention is inconsistent (:shrug:).

(iii) 'Both in full and in kind' (V) refers to the many degrees of 'Censure and exclusion' and 'Denial and refusal' that challenges and challengers are subject to. For 'quiet' reprisal and retaliation, are as 'real' and 'material' as 'public' judgment and condemnation. Note also, Annotation, above.

(iv) Speaking of above (i), (ii), (iii): IV, V, VI include language that references, for example, my position per Clarifying a 'Right' to Life (tca). Note also, Annotation, above. Needless to say, this reference is but one of many and beyond the scope of an annotation.

(v) Like above (iv), illustrating the many references of 'rose-colored lenses and words-to-live-by' and 'tinted perspectives and affirmed fabulations' (VI) is beyond the scope of an annotation.

etc.

*

M

I See, I Know

We want to be seen.

We want to be known.

Maybe that is by God.

Maybe that is by the world. 

I See, I Know

I don't think it's a fear of irrelevance. Or that which is deeply important, being invisible. That drives 'main character energy'. Or 'the plot'.

Which is to say, I think why we are and how we are, is -

Let me put it this way:

I think this is the charge we levy. Against those we hold in contempt. Our enemies on that side of the line in the sand. Repellent and loathsome -

Or:

The substance of what we think and what we believe. Speaks more to who we are than who they are -

And before you go there -

No, this isn't humbuggery that amounts to nonsense.

*

Rather to see this, is to know - why we are and how we are -

Not equals -

Not friends -

Not mutually deserving of mutual respect -

But:

Enemies.

*

I am not your enemy. To see me is to know I am not the villain of your story. But still, you insist. You decide. You will it so.

*

You see? What I see? Insisters demanding. Deciders opining. The willing, manifesting main character energy for the plot.

*

Because who we are, is -

Let me put it this way:

I think this is how we live what we believe. As in what we believe we see and what we believe we know. Which is no trifling reality, is it?

Neither irrelevant nor invisible:

This is everything. This is reality for real.

*

So -

What's real - what's material - 

That - is:

You, who insist and demand. You, who decide and opine. You, who will and manifest. Not because God. Not because the world -

You.

*

Such that to see this, is to know. The substance of what we think and what we believe. Drives our main character energy. To breathe oxygen and life into the stories we tell ourselves. For the plot that rejects the truth. For -

Humbuggery.

Postface

What comes after being seen? After being known, what is next for us?

*

Live?

Be loved?

*

Whether we are seen and known by God or we are seen and known by the world, we think and we believe what is next is forgiveness.

An all-embracing kindness and mercy. That neither judges nor blames. Because the story we tell ourselves is this is how we live what we believe, and we are loved because this is how and why and everything.

*

As if a line in the sand that is called religion cannot be a myth. As if the substance of what we think and what we believe cannot be a prison if it is called love.

*

What kind of love -

commands us to prostrate ourselves before a humbug? charges us with disloyalty when we oppose the enthralled to such humbug? names us apostates for testifying to our witness of such humbug's abuse of the truth?

*

Surely not one that's real. Or true. 

M

*

More

In the end, the ostensible existence of all-seeing and all-knowing does not endow not-seeing and not-knowing an inalienable right. To a myth that bludgeons the world with demands and opinions. In service to humbuggery.

M