Loved and Lost

The following are love letters to a dear friend...

...who read all but the last, while still alive.

I can conceive of no better memorial... than these letters...

...for contained within is a testament to a life that mattered.

~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~

We are grateful for you.

In every way that matters and in every way that doesn't. In big ways, in little ways, in silent ways, in spoken ways.

We appreciate you.

The you who shares yourself without qualification or reservation. The you who conceals unspoken fears and secrets behind resolute fortitude and immeasurable courage. The you whose compassion, generosity, and kindness extends expansively beyond yourself and those closest and dearest to you... to me.

Thank you.

On this day. On every special day and every mundane day. Our hearts brim with gratitude and appreciation and thankfulness... for you.

~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~

I want you to know that there are so many people whose lives you touch in ways you may never know.

And all of us -- those who are living and those who are departed -- all of us love you.

And none of us will fault you for your choice -- when you face it -- to be with those who are living or to be with those who are departed.

Regardless of the choice you make -- know that you carry all of our fondness, gratitude, admiration, and love -- wherever you go.

Every day is a new day.

And maybe your heart is fighting to stay, but your body is ready to go. Or maybe your body is fighting to stay, but your heart is ready to go.

In the end, this is your journey.

None of us know what tomorrow will bring. Whether tomorrow is your choice -- or the fate of something greater than us -- know that if you ask any of us who love you who are living -- to choose:

All of us choose you.

But if you choose those who love you who are departed -- go with our love and our conviction that we will meet again and have all the time in the world to say everything yet unsaid.

~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~

If we were there... we would hug you until it hurt... because how can we say all that's in our hearts... when most of all, what we want to say... is that which requires no words at all...

So... we'll imagine it... us here, you there... but in our hearts:

together.

~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~

Goodbye, my friend.

There is an eternity yet unsaid.

But you are gone.


Though I yearn for one more...

one more chance... to be true...

one more chance... to be more...

one more chance... to be forgiven...

Though a hundred thousand eternities of despair... echo with the silence of you... on every mountain... in every sea...


'til we meet again... I love you in this life and forever.

Note:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;

'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all. 

From In Memoriam, by Alfred, Lord Tennyson

(more about the friendship and grief that inspired this poem @ KnowledgeNuts)

Blog Update

Hello...

It's been a while... so, I'll start with the truth:

Though some thoughts and ideas on Suburbia have been thoughtful and kind... so too have some been merciless and cruel... (and some realities of Suburbia have shifted... as my realities have shifted)

Thus... I have redacted much...

I don't know what the future holds... but, I promise this:

I will strive with every measure to be more...

I am human.

I know that I have hurt one and all.

I'm sorry.

If you will still have me... here I am...

Thank you... for being here, too....

Thank you... for giving me another chance... to be true...

Warmly,

Ajeeh