Ideological Totality

Maybe we're afraid of someone's music, too loud and too vulgar. Or that religion that evokes a sense of unease because it's so strange. Or time and

the uncontrollable,

the future and

the unknowable.

Ideological Totality

I

We think because we feel terror -- we think because hope will never fail to rise in triumph -- we think because the unimaginable is inconceivable -- we think because what's impossible cannot be what's real --

we believe the problem is someone's music. or religion. or the future. because we know the problem is everything and everybody except

we thinkers, we believers, we knowers.

*

We feel the problem, so manifestly present in our lives, is as inescapable as the sun and the moon. As real as waking and sleeping, we feel the truth like a tooth that aches

in the bones that cradle our skulls. Who dare say

this is misinformed? or disinformed? or uninformed?

*

Well -- facts will rescue us! 

From how we feel? Like playing rock, paper, scissors?

Because because -- reality checks us! 

From the problem? Like manifesting a wish by tapping our heels?

After all -- the truth has sheltered us!

From what?

*

We think because we believe -- we are saved. We think because we know -- we are saved. We think because we feel -- we are saved. From

fear. unease. doubt.

*

Not because a fact will suck all the oxygen from an immovable feeling. Or because a feeling will foundationally cut through an inflexible fact. For of course, some facts do suck all the oxygen from immovable feelings and some feelings do foundationally cut through inflexible facts. After all,

*

when a god proclaimed that it was the only truth -- when a color of people declared that it was the only people in chains -- when a party vowed that it was the only answer --

what eclipsed all the light in the world? Nothing but

a shadow. So unthinkable, the solution to the problem of illumination, who dared gainsay

such proclamation? or such declaration? or such vow?

*

II

What??

*

Totality isn't a thing blessed. It isn't a thing to claim. It isn't a thing for taking. Totality is an exercise of free will that rejects enlightenment for artificial 'light' that anoints false piety, righteousness, and authority in false glory.

Such that when a god proclaims, a color of people declares, a party vows -- both 'the solution' and 'the problem' are illuminated -- neither by reason nor by honesty nor by revelation.

*

Who dare deny we thinkers, we believers, we knowers who feel the problem cannot be what's real -- we thinkers, we believers, we knowers who feel the inconceivable is the only solution -- we thinkers, we believers, we knowers who are saved

when everything and everybody is eclipsed by a shadow that gate-keeps goodness, decency, and merit -- a shadow that says fake heroism, ease, and certainty are as good as the real thing -- a shadow and nothing more.

*

So what if that which is absolutely anointed by the 'light' of artificiality is definitively nothing but a shadow? Who would question this enlightened matter of principle but the misinformed! the disinformed! the uninformed!

Who would dare?

*

III

Maybe we're afraid of fear. unease. doubt. So we will ourselves

to pretend. to imagine. to make believe. both 'the solution' and the 'problem' have to do with what a god proclaimed. or what a color of people declared. or what a party vowed. never mind

reason or honesty or revelation.

*

Maybe we're saved. So we will ourselves unafraid of someone's music. or religion. or the future. Because being saved eclipses all the light in the world.

*

Maybe ideological totality is as brittle as a cracker and as inexplicably formless as a nameless specter -- it's facts! it's feelings! it's both! it's neither! and as real as waking and sleeping. Who dare not

know that gate-kept piety, righteousness, and authority

pale in the light of the real thing.

Author's Note

Ideological totality is the eclipsing of all but one religious, cultural, political, etc. idea as an 'enlightened matter of principle'.

Such that piety, righteousness, and authority are gate-kept in order to proclaim, declare, and vow that a totality of ideology is 'the purest expression' of goodness, decency, and merit.

Hence counterfeit heroism, ease, and certainty advanced as salvation from fear, unease, and doubt. After all, who would dare gainsay facts and reality? or deny rescue and shelter? or question fear-motivated will or salvation-motivated will?

As if a thing as brittle as a cracker and as inexplicably formless as a nameless specter cannot be gainsaid and denied and known as a shadow and nothing more.

M